Helping with a tiny baby at the beginning of this week slows everything down.  Tasks rush around and demand time, but looking at that little, perfect face, all the speeding demands sound like they are underwater.  

GRE prep, publica….tion….s…….P…..h…..D……she is so small.  Happy.  Needy.

How could I have forgotten how small we all are, how needy, how full of potential?  It’s an illusion that I can feed or care for myself—in reality I am so dependent on the people who make my food, the hands who get it to a store, the people who pump my gas (oh, New Jersey).  And even in my most independent moments, I really am dependent on those quite, secret and late night votes of confidence.  I like to think I’m not that fragile, but I live off the support of those who love me and those I get a chance to love.  

In my most confident moments, underneath it all, I am still the sum of all the love others have invested into me.  I am in total built by the support of others- am small- am happy- am needy.